What is Therapy ?
Text books describes therapy as
‘safe relational communication which enables the expression of any human experience which affects a person’s wellbeing.’
Not surprisingly therefore, research shows the most important element is the quality of the relationship between the therapist and client. Your journey is your own and the depth of the emotional experience is completely individual . Who we relate to and feel comfortable with is personal and probably the single biggest contributor to the therapy experience and effectiveness.
I would also add that timing is another key factor - working with our own timing is far more likely to deliver results than forcing something into an available slot or meeting someone else's agenda.
To help you make the decision of who you want to work with and how, I encourage you to research , talk to or visit Therapists . For more about me and how I work , take a look at 'Get To Know Me',
I offer an introductory session , designed to give you the opportunity to explore how we work together and for me to assess whether I have the best skills to support you at a reduced fee of £25.
How does Therapy work ?
Therapy is a healing process which often has at the heart of it, the desire for change at some level ; of situation, of thoughts, feelings or behaviour patterns .Effective counselling or psychotherapy can help contain, address and explore feelings or situations to ;
- Process emotionally traumatic, sad, angry or difficult emotions , exploring what they mean to us
- 'Psycho-educate' to help manage anxiety, depression , over thinking and habits or behaviours affecting our well being
Develop new awareness , skills and knowledge about ourselves and further develop our sense of self and self esteem
Reflect on and deepen relationships
Help to manage triggers and 'reprogramme' our brain
Restore a sense of purpose , well being or equilibrium ,
Over time our brain logs experiences in different ways depending on which part is activated, almost like a filing system. The effects of some experiences can be ‘filed ‘ away very deeply, particularly when these experiences are very traumatic and/ or happen when we are very young. We respond unconsciously to situations, sometimes in ways which although helpful then, aren’t now. Sometimes it develops ways of thinking and responding which 'worked' in the past but may be hindering now.
Therapy focuses on the areas causing issue now and together we'll work to unlock awareness of what’s been embedded in your ‘software’ – providing insight into repeated patterns , triggering thoughts, exploring feelings and defences that might stop us changing and discovering different ways of being that are more helpful, fulfilling and rewarding now.
It works because we both commit to a process .
I will bring myself ,my clinical knowledge and understanding and you bring yourself and your courage.
My hope ultimately is that it will be a liberating experience and over time a deep confidence in your own being , choices and abilities begins to emerge as we work to support or treat any symptoms or issues you are experiencing.
"We can heal what we feel"
What Can I Expect ?
Confidential, Professional support
Therapy is a healing change process rather than a magic pill or a quick fix: It will involve commitment and courage from us both within a managed, explorative and creative process. Over time even small changes and reflections on deep issues can bring life-changing results.
So from me you can expect a warm, professional welcome and a non- judgemental approach which focusses entirely on you and what you want to work on.
Taking the first step is often the hardest thing to do – but if now feels like the right time for you then I encourge you to explore and hope you experience something releasing and rewarding.
Sometimes therapy can touch intense feelings; feelings of shame, fear, anger, vulnerability, guilt, hope, love, hate, confusion. Some we may never have faced, felt or explored before. Some we may have expected to experience others that shock or surprise us.
It can feel risky , difficult , upsetting, challenging , releasing , healing , enlightening to name but a few and so it’s likely you’ll notice more about how you are feeling and behaving and it may make you feel more emotional or tired than usual .
Our work will encourage the exploration into our deeper human experience and gently encourage change from within, at a pace which is personally and clinically relevant to you and your experiences.
A few tips for getting the most from your therapy
Take the Whole Hour
A therapy hour is 50 minutes long . Try arriving 10 minutes early just to put a break between your day and this time to collect your thoughts and feelings before the session.
What do I want? How do I Feel?
Often its hard to know the answers to these questions at first . We may feel we need to do something but don’t know what . I start here as this will set our direction and we will revisit them regularly.
Expect to work with me. Therapy is a collaborative process. We will both be allied to your goal and working towards it .
Your brain and body will be very active during a session and it can feel like we’ve covered a lot of ground .Try reflecting on sessions and jotting down things you notice about yourself during the week. Its not an instruction and may not suit everyone – but some find it useful . It activates the front left brain and helps us be an 'observer of our experience' as opposed to being in them. It may even help to bring it to session with you.
Try New Things
Therapy is a safe place to explore yourself , your responses and thoughts and feelings and also to try things out . Maybe you tend to think more than feel or are more passive than assertive, maybe you fear confrontation or want to practice asking for something. Whatever is true for you - go ahead and see how it feels.
Some people ask for change but feel uncomfortable when it happens. If you're seeking change, be open to all there is to discover. Where we focus our intention is where we want to see results and my hope is that you will begin to experience these for yourself.
Useful Websites /Apps
'Start changing yourself if you want to change the life around you'